Operation Sarcastic Voyage is go!

That’s possibly the codename for our trip down to Ealing and then on to Latitude. The details have been ironed out and I’ve booked a room at a Travelodge (classy, but hey it’s cheap). It’s all exciting stuff.

I figured I’d use this blog to talk about London yet again seeing as I’ve not written about last Tuesday yet so here goes.

Ok, so the plan was to be in London for 11am to meet Sorrel at Victoria Coach Station but the night before we’d decided we’d be too knackered for that so we didn’t bother. One of us must have had a psychic premonition cos Sorrel didn’t arrive til much later due to an accident on the M11 so yay, sleep in for us.

The other part of the plan was to meet everyone from the forum in Covent Garden throughout the day but that didn’t end up working too well, especially as Kirsty had already decided she wanted to go to Camden after there not being enough time to fit in the day before. I didn’t complain too much; I quite like Camden.

The plus side about this was the Alena and Shell were already in Camden themselves so after a quick purchase of a leather piano belt (£1, but at least it won’t break like my other one did) we headed to the Buck’s Head to have a good natter and pose for photos. Well, maybe not pose for photos but the cameras were definitely out.

After a while Alena received word from Nadine that she was arriving soon so she and Shell headed back to Euston to meet them leaving us to go shopping. See, the shopping bit was Kirsty’s reason for wanting to come to Camden as she was after a lovely black and red top and Camden does seem like one of the best places to buy one from. Strangely enough though there were very few to be found and the ones we did find looked too similar to ones she already had. We’d just given up and were heading to the KFC to grab dinner when she spotted the perfect dress to wear to the gig. Kirsty then tried it on and promptly bought it and then we went to KFC.

With dinner eaten we headed to the Thorntons on Oxford Street that we’d visited the day before. Sure I can make excuses that it was the closest one to Camden (it’s true AQA said so) but to be honest, I’m not entirely sure I trusted the Covent Garden one to have any plaques back in stock. This time we got a plaque reading “Congrats! Now write some new stuff” and a bear with “I don’t dig on dancing” on its belly. I figured with the second one you gotta do it sooner rather than later in case someone else steals your idea so you who’s reading this, that idea’s been done you hear?

Thorntons bought (not the whole company, that would be silly and we’re not that rich) we headed back to the Bloomsbury Theatre to sit and wait for people again. I mean I knew that night was gonna be insane in terms of number of people there but I didn’t actually work out how many people were coming until I got my pad out and counted. Turns out I was meeting 11 people.

We sat in the little corner where we sat last time but they soon told us to move before we’d even met anyone as they wanted to set up the merch table there. This was a bit weird as they had it elsewhere the night before but it turned out that where it was the last night, there was a table for what turned out to be invitations to PBJ’s private party after the show and we’re just fans so we didn’t get invited. I’m not bitter about it at all.

Kirsty then headed to the loo to change into her new dress, which I feel needs explaining slightly. In November we started buying all manner of accessories with piano keyboard designs on them; from scarves to shoelaces, bags and belts. Oh, and let’s not forget the shoes that Kirsty and I both own. Now Kirsty was wearing said shoes that day and the dress she’d bought from Camden, well let’s say it had a piano theme to it too. We decided that she’d come dressed as a piano with the sole intention of getting Tim to play with her (innuendo intended).

Anyway, as time progressed we met with Alena, Nadine, Sorrel (who got into London after 12 hours on a coach), Shell, two of Shell’s friends (I’m useless with names, sorry), Tracy and two of her friends, Maureen and her daughter who are all lovely people and great to talk to. Well, with the exception of Maureen’s daughter but then again she’s a teenager so I guess that kinda accounts for that.

We all then headed to the bar where I bought the cutest thing ever - a 200ml glass Coke bottle. Obviously there was Diet Coke in it when I bought otherwise it would’ve been an entirely pointless purchase and despite what people say, it doesn’t taste better from the glass bottles. Although I reckon that might just be these stupidly small and expensive ones as it tastes fine from the big ones. Weird.

Right, now on to the bit Tim likes least - the critique of his show. Actually, first I’ll offer an apology to Tim as I fear we may have screwed up his continuity for him. See there was camera at the front to one side both nights but they were on different sides each night. Now somehow we ended up sitting on the same side as the camera both nights and Hannah informs me that even though we were five rows back the camera will pick us up on audience shots so Tim’s left with shots of us from two angles but in each angle we’re wearing different clothes. Hurray. (Sorry Tim).

Ok, now I’ll start the critique. Tim was in a bit of a silly mood that night with a running theme developing where he’d point out people’s shoes on the front row and getting us to shout things like “purple shoes” and “silver shoes” back at him. He’s a strange one at times, though I guess it’s not unusual considering how much attention he gives our awesome shoes. It was only a matter of time before it spilled over into his live show. If only Jesse James hadn’t done it already I’m sure he’d write a song about shoes for his new show.

Now as per tradition, Tim plays Canvas Bags before the interval and tonight was no exception. Well, eventually it was no exception. The traditional cue of, “Hit it, Pete,” went seemingly unnoticed by Pete leaving Tim standing there looking like a lemon before Tim asked Pete again for the music. It wasn’t the only mess up Pete made as the Interval Song started playing later than it should have. It’s one of those songs you don’t notice when it’s not playing but as soon as it starts you realise it hasn’t been playing all that time; it’s essentially lift music. Anyway, before Pete made for his interval we cornered him and asked him about the gap and he put the onus of the situation on us as he claimed he was eating the chocolate helicopter (it wasn’t a tractor at all, sorry Kirsty) we’d bought him and so hadn’t being paying attention. We forgave him.

During the interval, for reasons still unknown to me, I stole one of Alena’s shoes. I guess I thought it’d be a bit of a laugh and you know what? It was. Shame she didn’t have the nerve to sit in the front row with only the one shoe on. I can only imagine the look on Tim’s face considering the night’s theme.

Last thing to mention about the performance is the rendition of Dark Side that we got. I mean I’m clearly slightly biased as it’s one of my favourite songs but considering this I think it puts me one of the better positions to say this: it was completely and utterly fantastic! It was easily one of, if not the, best performance I’ve seen of it. The solo just completely blew me away, even if Tim did lose it at the end claiming it to be over-ambitious. Over-ambitious it may have been but it was easily worth it.

After the show we were waiting for Pete (we still haven’t made that Facebook group…) and mid-life-crisis-guy from the night before essentially told us to shove off after he looked confused and surprised that we knew who Pete was. Basically there was that PBJ function on at the bar and so he was moving people on out from there. Someone needs to tell him that there are polite ways in which you can tell a person to move along. He just struck us all as being unbelievably rude. Again, how he ended up doing what he does is beyond me. We begrudgingly did as we’d been ordered (that’s ordered, not asked) to and waited in the reception area for the second time to see Tim again.

Tonight was very much the night for presents for Timothy. Some of the Aussies on Angry (Feet) had organised a care package for Tim compromising of a cuddly koala called Gary, some Tim Tams and a few other bits and pieces though, disappointingly to Tim, no wine. Shell gave Tim a Thornton’s plaque though I’m not entirely sure what it said on it and it was at this point when Tim told us to just put the traditional hat on his head and just take photos while he was talking and signing stuff. Queue a gay pride felt top hat, a pirate’s hat and a Disney Princess tiara. The gay pride hat was so him.

Next we gave him our presents. The plaque got the response, “no pressure then!” and then we gave him the t-shirt that I totally forgot all about until now. Basically we were in Camden, walked past it, I thought, “that is so Tim,” so we bought it for him. It was a lovely purple t-shirt with Mr Silly on. If that’s not the perfect top for Tim then I don’t know what is.

Hugs, kisses and photos followed and ten Tim said he had to disappear back to the private party (still not bitter…) because his parents had flown in from Australia to be there, which is fair enough I guess though I did want to talk to him about a few things, which considering he said I don’t say much in real-life but loads online, makes him disappearing and forcing me to contact him via e-mail about the stuff is kinda ironic. I dig irony though so it’s cool. He’s not got anywhere to be after the Chapel gig so hopefully we’ll have actual conversations as well as the planned bake-off.

This is essentially the end of the day. We all walked to Euston station and had another natter and then they disappeared off to their hotel while we headed back to Kirsty’s. Fun times were definitely had.